Without thinking, I almost ate some Frosted Mini Wheats yesterday afternoon. I was hungry and I hadn’t had much to eat.
A creature of habit, I opened the cabinet and had my outstretched arm nearly gripping the orange box when it registered – there’s sugar on them.
I put the box down.
This happened again after dinner when I opened the freezer and almost cheated on cookie dough.
Not because I intentionally wanted to break my sugar fast within the first three days of starting it, but because my body and mind are so pre-programmed to eat without thinking.
Being mindful to act differently is not just a matter of willpower or good intentions, I’m having to carefully examine every thought right now and choose to act differently.
Keeping my goals of the sugar fast in sight helps.
Yesterday as I was undergoing my own mindfulness exercises, I saw the trending news headlines about displeasure with some of our representatives for their responses regarding the Florida high school shooting.
Many feel “thoughts and prayers” they’ve offered on social media aren’t enough.
In full disclosure I should tell you I’m not feeling on top of the world, so most foods – including sugar-filled deliciousness – didn’t look appetizing yesterday.
But nonetheless, a full day without sugar during my 45 day sugar fast is a win. The fact it was Valentine’s Day and no pink candy hearts, iced sugar cookies or chocolate-dipped treats hit my lips is a major victory.
There were a few times I was tempted.
I didn’t sweep the house with a big trash bag so everywhere I looked I saw treats trying to lure me back in – ice cream in the freezer. Box of chocolates on the counter.
Mae did come home with a bag full of candy like I suspected.
But as I went through it with her, we talked more about the classmates who gave the Valentine’s candy verses the candy itself.
It was a nice insight into her world.
And it was a nice feeling – I was fighting the temptation to make the day all about candy.
Hidden inside of her backpack, I found something else:
“What’s this?” I asked, pulling it out of the folder.
“Who do you think it is – it’s you…”
My heart exploded.
It was all I needed to get through the rest of the day – because no candy or cookie, chocolate or brownie could have made my heart swell more.
Yesterday I took a bite of a chocolate-iced long john donut for the last time for the next 45 days.
I dove into the box of Little Debbies my husband left for me and Mae, and I ate both of the snack cakes inside of the package without any hesitation.
Yesterday was my last day for grabbing a handful of m&ms to get me through March.
I won’t be eating any freshly baked chocolate chip cookies or cinnamon rolls until Easter.
So far this morning, I am holding steady.
I’m curious to see how long this lasts.
I wanted to invite you all into this journey with me over the next 45 days as I fast from sugar.
I thought I should kick it off with why I’m doing this.
“Mama, why was I adopted?”
The weight of her question barely registered as my mind focused on the invisible checklist that appears every time I exit the car:
Purse – check.
Wallet – check.
Keys – check.
Dang it – where’s my cell phone?
In a flurry of my own activity, I nearly missed the opportunity I’d been waiting for – the moment my daughter was pulling me into a conversation about her adoption rather than having me (once again) push it on her.
Fortunately, before I completely missed the moment, I found a fast response: