Each year Mother’s Day can bring a mix of emotions in all of us. For years this sweet holiday intended for good brought difficult feelings for me. I couldn’t look to the past, present or future without pain. The blessing of adoption brought a joyful child into my life, but what I’ve learned (especially this weekend) is that even as a mother — gut-wrenching hardships occur. Whether you’re grieving what’s behind you, struggling with what’s in front of you, or paralyzed by what’s absent from your future plans — you’re not alone. I wrote this post for you, for me, and anyone else who may struggle with this day. It’s not easy, but if you let yourself go “down to the river,” you’ll find the Giver of Life waiting and wanting to celebrate with you . – DB
Making Peace with Eve
A day of pain for so many years
Poked at buried agony and grief
Sorrow cast upon gifts of life
Their recognition and celebration – a thief
Like a splinter the angst appeared small at the surface
But the wedge sat lodged within deep
Heart broken into too many pieces to count
Soul was no one’s to keep
A river of sadness filled by escaping tears
Was all I could see thanks to loss
Secretly hoping it would wipe all of Eden
Heartbeat comes at such a high cost
Blessings and favor slowed the current down
I was entrusted with another breath of life
From another’s body a soul put under my care
Overshadowing my once-felt strife
I worked hard to tell stories of righteousness
Show how to live freely and with a pure heart
While ideal in theory, practice became hard
Once again I felt torn apart
As much as I shared, hoped and prayed
No choice did I have in reception
Brokenness shadowed tries to teach
Frustration leaked stings of deception
I sat once again watching the river of sadness
Rush in new and old waves of pain
Despising Eve for what she’d done to the world
I angrily pointed the blame
It didn’t come through an earthquake or cloud
New thoughts brought the change inside me
I thought about the River of Life
Dwelled on love that parted the sea
I pushed past grief, sorrow and pain
Timidly and tiredly walked to the quiet shore
Gently flowing waves of grace lured me in
Cool breezy mist made me yearn for more
Its nurturing calmness kept me still
Soothing deep wounds hiding out in my soul
The life-giving stream made just for Eden
Showed forgiveness of man made it whole
This River ran parallel to my river of sadness
My choice became which one to see
Stay stuck in the muck mourning my ongoing pain
Or finally make peace with Eve
I chose to dive into the River of Life
Let go of loss, sin and shame identifying me
Honor the celebration and true Giver of Life
So on a once painful day – I’d live free
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