For all of the type As out there - I am sorry. I skipped a day. There was no Day 12 post yesterday.
I was too tired to write last night.
A fun, but full, weekend had me under the covers before 10 p.m. and my eyelids were so heavy, I could hardly make it through a full chapter of the book I'm reading. (Which by the way, check out Powered by Hope. Teri's story is amazing.)
Deep down I hate that my "Day 12" blog post is missing.
But I actually think it's divine. Because I'm on an unending quest to understand it's good to be imperfect. (I'm a 1 on the enneagram if that explains anything.)
If things aren't organized, formatted and following a nice pattern, I'm often not in my comfort zone.
But, I'm growing.
Dust to Dust
I'm glad my sugar fast happened to correspond with the season of Lent.
I didn't grow up observing Lent so I'm still learning about its different traditions and meanings - and I'm discovering what it means to me.
As with most traditions tied to a spiritual or religious experience, I'm hearing opinions and feelings toward Lent that are as polarizing as politics. Maybe more.
Some love the observance of Lent - the season of going without in order to look deeply within stirs their souls.
Others hate it - many have been forced or guilted into going through the motions when their heart's not been into it. That's never a good experience.
It's a blessing I'm an adult just now tapping into this whole practice because I can give it a clean slate - a white canvas awaits my Lent experience.
And so far, I'm enjoying not eating sugar as a way of experiencing Lent. Why?
It's helping me see not only how human and imperfect I am (I seriously daydream about Coke products right now). But it's helping me embrace my weakness and turn it into deeper understanding and appreciation.
Hope for the Heart
I don't remember how this comment from church went exactly yesterday, but it was something like this:
"Our lowest of the low places is where Jesus can enter in and meet us. And He's a God that can relate to whatever suffering or struggle we're going through. This is why we hope in the good news.
This is the cornerstone of the Christian faith. I know it seems backwards sometimes, but it's true.
I've experienced it personally in my life - one night I sat on my bed distraught that I'd just been diagnosed with colon cancer again. I was so ready to be done with God.
But in the midst of my emotional anguish and downright anger at God, I felt something whisper deep inside of my heart:
"I know the pain you feel."
No, Jesus didn't have colon cancer. But He faced heartache and disappointment. He too had physical pain. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess since he was 100% human, he also had diarrhea from time to time too.
But that's not the point -
The point is when I've gone low, God's met me in those places and helped me walk again. And had I not gone low, I doubt I'd know and love Him like I do today.
To be completely honest, although I've had zero sugar for 13 days, learning all of these lessons like thoughts and prayers or the importance of togetherness and avoiding comparisons is sweeter than any chocolate chip cookie or bowl of ice cream.
Lent - and these 45 days without sugar - is reminding me that my imperfect can lead to perfect when I put my faith in Christ.
My weakness can be transformed into strength.
My worst moments can gain the power to become the best things that ever happened to me.
Now that indeed is good news.