As I scooted out my chair and walked away from the round table, it became increasingly difficult to hide my disappointment and contain the stream of tears about to drop down my face. Becoming the next 20-something bestselling author was not in my near future. The editor I'd requested to review my writing samples during the writer's conference did not offer me the same glowing response as my English teachers throughout the years.
Instead, I was critiqued on my formatting. I was told to find my voice and keep writing.
My millennial-minded hopes of becoming an overnight sensation without any hard work were officially crushed.
It took only a second to begin believing my dream of getting published was silly. I compiled all of my drafts and notes from the conference into the red pocket folder I'd received on the first day and buried it in a drawer. For many days, weeks and years after that hard meeting, I mourned.
I fought anger and bitterness from what felt like rejection. I fought self-doubt and didn't believe I had a gift of writing nor anything valuable to say. Small bursts of motivation to break out a pen or start jotting down a book idea were come and go. I felt empty and useless until one day, I received an email inviting me to submit a devotional for an upcoming compilation project. I decided to give it a try.
My submission was selected. Soon a book about faith and God's faithfulness put my name in print. It was the perfect subject for my healing heart. I was finally able to accept the hard advice to keep writing and find my voice.
Believing we don't have what it takes is a horrible feeling. Rejection is a heavy burden to carry. But oftentimes when we go low from broken hearts and cracked egos, we're finally able to see God as most high. His healing begins when we let our poor spirits be soothed by His touch and have faith that He will lead the way.
Blessed are the poor in spirit. Theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:3
Have you accepted that you don't have what it takes, but God does? Have you found freedom in that admission?