I think she morphed my common phrase "for reals" into her own saying - but when Mae's trying to figure out if we're joking or not, she'll often say, "In Real Life?" It usually goes something like this:
"Hey Mae, we're going to get ice cream. Get your shoes on."
"In real life!?" (Then long pauses - she's smart; she's not going to waste time if we're not serious.)
"Yes, in real life. Now go!"
And then we hear her scrambling and running around, only for her to appear in a matter of seconds. It's funny how fast she moves when sugar is on the line.
If only I could move that fast when it comes to this new blog category called "In Real Life." While a wall of fear awaits me, I can't get past the nudge to blog more about everyday life and show you the in's and out's of what's happening in and around me.
This is me a little scared to let you in. Yes, it's before 8am and I was too lazy and tired to remove my eye makeup remover last night. I don't love selfies but for the sake of being transparent - here you go.
Why the fear? Well, it likes to appear anytime I do something new or take a risk. Plus, putting your life on the Internet, especially vulnerable moments, is a good ingredient for an anxiety attack if it's not balanced and lacks boundaries. Spend two seconds on Facebook - it's not always a kind world out there. Yet sometimes our lives are the most powerful, healing ailments to this world. Realness and rawness is what we all crave from one another.
Thus, I write.
So real life for today - well, Me and Mae are recovering from some type of diarrhea bug that flew in around here. (I told you real and raw was coming.) Usually if it hits me, that's normal. My 13-inches of intestine don't play well with others most of the time. So I'm used to running to the bathroom several nights a week.
Mae still felt OK last night so Mike awesomely took her to the first school skate. I'll save his narrative about teaching a social-butterfly-kindergartner to roller skate for a future devotional. Let's just say I laughed out loud at his reenactment and Mike's arms are likely going to be very sore today.
While they were away, I balanced my time between the toilet and my bed. Even after all these years post-cancer treatment, I still face a level of fatigue. I got out of the office yesterday and have had a heavy workload the past several weeks. While I love it, it takes a toll. I get wiped out easily.
I hated to miss Mae's first skate night. The "mom guilt" totally set in too. Based on my job and health, I'm not always the parent running her around. It's a process of acceptance each time I send the two of them off without me. It's a life we're used to, but I still hate it sometimes.
As I waited for their return I continued reading through into this refreshing book about women's roles - A Woman's Place. It's nice to see someone put some of my secret thoughts to words.
Time passed quickly. I heard the door crack open and little feet run up the stairs. Mae jumped on the bed with me, declared to be reaalllly gooood at skating and gave me the rundown of friends who were there and how much she wants to go back. Her joy was so contagious, it washed over all guilt and sadness from why I couldn't be there to watch. It was a moment I actually stopped to think and be thankful for the little kiddo on my bed spilling her guts out about her first roller skating night.