The power of a post-abortion story

I’ll never forget the day I was running errands and my husband kept texting me.

“My parents want to come by this afternoon… will you be home?”

Normally this wouldn’t have been alarming, except texts like these were rare. My immediate “something’s wrong” radar went up. I tried to restrain my mind from wandering too far into the land of what it could be.

I made it home and the four of us sat in our living room on our brown sectional couch. We made eye contact and then awkwardly looked away. I prepared myself for the worst:  cancer. moving. divorce. But what came surprised me.

Continue reading

What Happened One Week After the Sugar Fast

Guys – I feel like I should tell you something.

On Monday, I chose to go back on the sugar fast. Yes, you read that right. I opted-in to depriving myself of sugar outside of the 45-day challenge, beyond the bounds of Lent.

I had an amazing Easter weekend and it was full of the goodness I’d dreamed about for weeks:  Coke and m&ms, pie and sticky buns, candy and more candy.

But after Sunday passed, I was good. And I realized cutting back on sugar made my body feel so much better than it did before. I enjoyed my splurge, but then I decided to hold off again. (At least until Mikey’s birthday this weekend!) And it’s made me happy. Yes! Happy!

easter-sugar-splurge

Temptation

One thing that has shocked me over the past five days is the lack of cravings I’ve had now that the challenge is over. During the challenge, when sugar was forbidden, I only wanted it more. The temptation of wanting what I couldn’t have made the cravings worse.

This week – I theoretically could have eaten sugar without any consequence (I wouldn’t have felt guilty and had to blog about it to tell you!) But strangely enough, the temptation to cheat was gone. The lure to break my commitment was no more. I didn’t want to eat a ton of sugar the past five days. It’s felt so bizarre.

make-today-great-sugar-cookie

Stand Firm

If you read my blogs, you know what’s coming. I love to look deeper into situations like this and find the gold nuggets of understanding – there’s always a bigger picture to life. And I think this one’s pretty obvious – there’s a lot of directions it could go.  But this seems to be the theme:

Temptation is as universal to the human race as going potty. But, we can stand firm, we don’t have to give in. 

The allure of temptation looks different for all of us – but it’s there nonetheless. Our flesh will crave what we can’t have, or what we shouldn’t have, and it will take all our willpower to stop ourselves from giving up and giving in.

But if we stand firm, beautiful things will be waiting for us on the other side. Things we didn’t expect, and things that were absolutely worth the resistance.

Yogurtini – Day 45

Yogurtini. That’s how we broke our 45 day sugar fast tonight. Just walking the floor and staring at the delicious flavors of cold, frozen yogurt made my mouth water. I filled my cup with half cookies and cream and half coffee.

And then came the toppings – oh good heavens the toppings.

In the midst of crushed oreos and kit kats piled on top of my fro yo, I sprinkled on mini reeses peanut butter cups AND a spoonful of monster cookie dough. (Hellooooooo m&ms, oh how I’ve missed you!)

I took a bite. It tasted heavenly – or what I suppose food in Heaven tastes like. It was the perfect way to enjoy sugar again. (And it was a lot – I couldn’t finish it all!)

yogurtini-plaza-kansas-city

Along the Way

I’ve been thinking all day and wondering what to write for this final post of the sugar fast. On Day One when this kicked off, I was certain I’d have a long blog full of all sorts of wisdom today.

But as I reflect on the past 45 days, I look back and realize my blog updates kept a pretty good record of the insights that came from this fast. And if anything, I’m reminded once again to not focus so much on the destination itself, but to enjoy the moments along the way.

Continue reading

One More Day – Day 44

Well friends – time flies when you’re flying around the country and not eating sugar. I am excited tomorrow is the last day of my sugar fast!

I plan to eat m&ms first (of course). I’ll probably drink a Jack & Coke during the day. I’ve strangely missed pop a lot. Ice cream will definitely be on the docket. And this weekend – blueberry pie, cinnamon rolls and those delicious Reeses peanut butter eggs (my Easter basket favorite).

Immediate challenge of today?  MAKE IT ONE MORE DAY.

one-more-day-sugar-aisle

Anticipation.

That little “A” word of anticipation seems to be the name of my game these days. It’s not like I’ve never had to wait for anything, but to be honest, it has been awhile since I’ve sat in the waiting room of life. But eating sugar again is one of many events I am waiting for right now. And it’s hard!

I want to give you the “safe” answers and explain why – telling you the anticipation of moving away from my full-time job in a month or so and heading back into the world of freelance has me anxiously nervous yet excited. I want to blame all of these feelings on the book I’m writing that currently has no publisher or even promise of making it to print. My heart is with friends on clinical trials, hoping their next scans show the treatments are working.

And I don’t know about you but while I wade in the waters of this hopeful anticipation, I discover the real reason I don’t like it:

It can bring out the ugly in me.

Continue reading

« Older posts