As a family impacted by adoption, we wanted to share about what it’s like to have an option adoption for National Adoption Month. And who better to tell you about adoption than the adoptee herself!
What our kid thinks about being adopted
Interviewing my daughter was quite the experience. I’ve never tried to get answers from someone so wiggly. I might have bribed with candy and computer time. Might.
Open adoption is all our daughter has ever known. When we adopted her, we met with her birth mom, exchanged phone numbers and emails. We’ve had direct contact her whole life. Yet even with the openness, she started to think and talk more about her adoption at age six.
Adoption questions at age 6
How has she started to talk about adoption differently?
- She notices other mommies and pregnant bellies.
- She’s trying to understand breast feeding (of course it had to be very openly and loudly at the public zoo).
- She’s explained to her kindergarten class that she has two moms.
Adoption is clearly on her mind and it shows through her drawings. It’s not uncommon for her to mention her birth mom’s name at the end of a long prayer or play “pretend” with her former first and/or last name.
Adoptee’s thoughts on open adoption
I wanted to know our daughter’s thoughts on being adopted and how she saw the world. It’s a way to capture time – how does she feel about this at age 6? Will it change? There’s only one way to find out! I interviewed her! Here’s what she said.
Q. How do you feel about being adopted?
I’m embarrassed. People will hear about me and want to be like me. I don’t like it. But I’m happy too. I like being adopted.
Q. What’s the best thing about being adopted?
More than one people love me.
Q. What’s hard about being adopted?
Barely nothing. Everything is not hard. There’s never been a time it’s been hard. But I wanted just one mommy when I was a baby. Having two mommies is a lot.
Q. What does it feel like to have two mommies?
Happy because I get lots of toys.
Q. Are you glad you know your birth mom?
Yeah. She’s a nice lady. I like that I get to see her.
Q. What’s your favorite memory with your birth mom?
Going to the inflatable park and my cousin was there too. I liked jumping.
Q. Do you think other people should adopt kids?
Adopt kids all day long. It will make the kids happy and parents happy.
Q. If there’s a kid who feels sad about being adopted, what would you say to make them feel better?
Getting adopted is really fun. You get lots of presents and you might love presents. They [the birth family] will get to know you good if they get to be with you a lot.
Q. Does being adopted make you feel special?
No. I feel special when I get to buy a costume or go to T-Rex Restaurant.
Q. What’s the last thing you want to share?
I like stuffed toys because they’re so cute. And Barbies.
Adoption doesn’t make me special
Out of the mouth of babes, huh?
While some of her answers were expected, I was surprised when she said adoption isn’t what makes her feel special (considering that’s the message we’ve told her all her life!).
To our 6-year-old daughter, adoption is normal. What makes her feel special is the same thing that makes any kid feel special – fun times, surprises and presents.
While adoption makes her different, it doesn’t define her and I love how she clearly articulated this at age six. I hope it sticks all her life!
Danielle blogs about cancer survivorship, communications and faith. Subscribe to her weekly devotional in the Monday Morning Survival Guide so you don’t miss anything she has to say!